Is It Normal If Your Partner Rarely Gives You Orgasms? Here’s What Experts Say

If talking and experimentation doesn’t work, don’t worry, you’re not out of options. Fehr says in that situation, it’s time to call in the professionals.

“Sex coaches supply tools and techniques to help women and couples learn to deepen their intimacy with themselves and each other and understand their bodies to be able to achieve orgasm,” says Fehr.

If that sounds intimidating or extreme, Fehr says it really isn’t, or at least it shouldn’t be.

“There is no shame in asking for help in this tender and sensitive area — especially when most sex ed we’ve received has entirely omitted the female pleasure anatomy and pleasure,” she explains.

The reality is, this is a really tricky subject. On the one hand, you may feel shame or like you’re failing if you don’t have orgasms quickly, easily, and reliably. But on the other, our culture shames women for thinking they should be able to, and actively works to make getting the information they need harder or fraught — and that’s some real patriarchy B.S. You have a right to orgasms. If they are harder to achieve and require more work, that’s not only OK, it’s normal. So, you do you — figuratively and literally, too.

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